The day, nor the hour…Life has its moments

July 2022. We released my mom, dad and grandmothers ashes in Virgina Beach

Growing up i always heard the saying “expect the unexpected, but of course when you’re young, you may say “Oh ok” until something happens to you.

July 20, 1984 i was born to young parents; My mom was 16 years Old and my father Was 19 when they had me. matter of fact, they said my father wasn’t able to be there when i was born due to him being in basic training for the army at the time, but i was still given his full name, “David Andrew Elliot”. Dear God thank you for them giving me a common name lol.

Me at the age of eight

with my parents being so young, they didn’t have a clue on how to raise me, but i guess they tried in the Beginning. And As the years passed by my mom, at the age of 26, Was introduced to something that would not only change her life, but mines as well; That something was called “Crack Cocaine”. I later found out it was two of her sisters who introduced her to it and shortly after that my mom introduced my father to it. Back then crack cocaine was a drug that was taking over a lot of people’s lives And ruining families.

As my mother got deeper in using the drug, she got to the place where she would do anything to get her fix. At times it got so bad, she would resort to stealing which put her in and out jail. Although my father was on the drug as well, he was able to function and hold a job, but he didnt know how to step up and be a father.

I was around ten years old when things took a turn for the worse. My mom had got pregnant with my sister, but was still in the streets. It got so bad that my oldest aunt had to call the police on my mother just for her to go to the hospital to have my sister. It was November 1993, my sister was born, only 3lbs to be exact. Shortly after my mom having my sister, she was sentenced to two and a half years in jail for a crime she had done. By then the court system stepped in and had to decide where me and my sister would go. Thank God one of my aunts took us in, which only lasted for a short period of time due to her own personal issues.

I remember like it was yesterday, it was my tenth birthday and my aunt promised to buy me a bike, which i found out her boyfriend was riding it the whole time. it broke my heart into so many pieces. i ran to the clubhouse and collect called my grandmother in north Carolina, crying tears for her to come and get me and my sister. three days after, her and my grandfather drove to massachusetts to pick me and my sister up; My mom granted her temporary custody. God had answered my prayers!

my mom served her time in jail and her and my father got back together and moved down south. I was excited for them to come and finish raising me, but that demon “ Crack Cocaine” crept right back in both of their lives. There was no way they could have taken care of me, my sister and later my little brother, who was born when i was a senior in high school. Thank God for my grandmother, she was a strong woman who raised nine of her own Children and turned around and raised seven of her grandchildren.

Me, my siblings and our mom one easter sunday, 2012

my parents battled with drugs and Alcohol for many years. I prayed just about every night for god to protect them and turn their lives around. By time they got to a place where the desire for drugs was leaving them, my father had stage four cancer and my moms health was not so good.

its so much more to the story, but lets fast foward. there is a saying that “We dont know the day nor the hour”. January 2019 i lost my grandfather to stage 4 lung cancer and the next month my grandmother slipped into a comma for two weeks and shortly passed after that. Now while all of this was going on, my father was battling cancer and my mom was dealing with , alcoholism, depression, anxiety and other mental Illnesses, as well as diabetes. I believe their years of drug use had a lot to do with their health declining.

My grandparents

at this point, i had to ask god to help me because i was in a place where i had to step in and take care of my parents, who couldn’t get their shit Together over the years to raise me, nor my siblings. There is a saying that “God will never put more on you than you can Bear”. I had to kick into to over drive. My parents became homeless at the time, so i had to help them with housing. I traveled back and fourth from charlotte to durham checking on my parents periodically.

My Parents 2019 at my Grandmothers Funeral

My fathers health continued to decline and in February 2021, a week before his birthday, he took his last breath; No more suffering, no more pain. shortly after, i moved my mother to charlotte to take care of her. I was able to help her get on her feet, but as she began to miss my father so much, it put her in a deep depression. I was taking her to the doctors, as well as a therapist on a regular which she never did on her own when she was caring for my father, but i felt then, it was to late then. Her health had taken a turn for the worst, but i didn’t know how bad because if you look at her you couldn’t tell.

It was the week of mothers day, May 2022, my mom called me on that monday and asked me was i still going to do her hair for church that sunday “I said yes”. I remember calling her that wednesday to check in, but she didnt answer her phone and thats wasn’t like my mom cause she was always on that phone. I called my siblings to see if they had talked to her and they said “No”. so The next mourning i woke up earlier than normal cause something felt weird. I told my partner something doesn’t feel right, that i was going to drive over to my moms house. by time i got halfway to my moms house, i felt anxious. I got there and got out the car and walked to her door. i knocked a couple times and finally used the spare key to open the door. As i opened the door i found my mom laying on the couch unresponsive, my mom had passed away. That was the worst day of my life because i knew i could no longer say A proper good bye. My heart was so hurt because the last six months of my moms life was the best moments her and i shared together, I wanted those good days to continue.

Grief is a process, but it feels better when you know you have given all the flowers to the ones you love while you had a chance.

My Life, My Journey, Much love… D Elliot